न मे स्यान्निरयान्मोक्षो ह्यपि वर्षायुतायुतै: ॥ ४९ ॥
na me syān nirayān mokṣo
hy api varṣāyutāyutaiḥ
bāla — boys; dvi-ja — the twice-born; suhṛt — well-wishers; mitra — friends; pitṛ — parents; bhrātṛ — brothers; guru — preceptors; druhaḥ — one who has killed; na — never; me — my; syāt — there shall be; nirayāt — from hell; mokṣaḥ — liberation; hi — certainly; api — although; varṣa — years; ayuta — millions; āyutaiḥ — being added.
I have killed many boys, brāhmaṇas, well-wishers, friends, parents, preceptors and brothers. Though I live millions of years, I will not be relieved from the hell that awaits me for all these sins.
Whenever there is a war, there is certainly a massacre of many innocent living beings, such as boys, brāhmaṇas and women, whose killing is considered to be the greatest of sins. They are all innocent creatures, and in all circumstances killing of them is forbidden in the scriptures. Mahārāja Yudhiṣṭhira was aware of these mass killings. Similarly, there were friends, parents and preceptors also on both sides, and all of them were killed. It was simply horrible for him to think of such killing, and therefore he was thinking of residing in hell for millions and billions of years.